


Connor's Introduction to Group Chats

by Aureux



Series: Connor's Introduction to All Things Deviancy [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Jericrew, Texting, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Weird Plot Shit, groupchat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 08:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18891214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aureux/pseuds/Aureux
Summary: Connor discovers that it is easily to lose an hour simply interacting with friends. And that half the fun of a group chat is changing the usernames.





	Connor's Introduction to Group Chats

**Current members**

**Josh, Simon, Markus, and North**

 

**_Connor_ ** **was added to Jericrew**

 

**Markus:** Today at 5:43 PM

Sorry for the late addition. 

**North:** Today at 5:44 PM

We had to keep reminding him.

**Markus:** Today at 5:44 PM

I would have gotten around to it. 

**North:** Today at 5:45 PM

You still forgot even after the drunk texting episode. 

**Josh:** Today at 5:45 PM

She has a point. 

**North:** Today at 5:45 PM

Shut up Josh.

**Josh:** Today at 5:46 PM

I was agreeing with you?

**North:** Today at 5:46 PM

Sorry reflex.

**Simon:** Today at 5:47 PM

Connor are you okay? You haven't said anything. Did we scare you away?

**Simon:** Today at 5:50 PM

Connor?

**Connor:** Today at 5:50 PM

Apologies, I am currently in the middle of something. 

**Markus:** Today at 5:52 PM

It's alright. Don't feel obligated to be here just because I added you. 

**North:** Today at 5:52 PM

What are you doing? 

**Josh:** Today at 5:53 PM

North! He just said he was busy.

**North:** Today at 5:54 PM

You were all thinking it. I just was the only one with the balls to ask. 

**Simon:** Today at 5:54 PM

He might be too busy to answer. 

**Connor:** Today at 5:54 PM

Give me five minutes please. 

**North:** Today at 6:00 PM

So what are you doing? 

**Josh:** Today at 6:00 PM

Seriously North? 

**North:** Today at 6:00 PM

What? He said give him five minutes.

**Josh:** Today at 6:01 PM

And you have him five minutes. Exactly. Down to the second. 

**North:** Today at 6:02 PM

Well we are effectively at a standstill right now and none of you will let me speak to the public. 

**Markus:** Today at 6:02 PM

I'm sorry you feel left out North. It's just your particular skills work better elsewhere. 

**Connor:** Today at 6:03 PM

He means you are liable to be arrested for assault if you are left in a room full of older human males. 

**Simon:** Today at 6:03 PM

That's very... specific Connor…

**Connor:** Today at 6:03 PM

What? Human politics in America is largely patriarchal in nature. 

**Josh:** Today at 6:04 PM

I mean… he isn't wrong. 

**North:** Today at 6:05 PM

Connor! You never answered my question!

**Connor:** Today at 6:05 PM

You seemed like you were in the middle of a conversation and I didn't wish to interrupt.

Anyway I was currently in the middle of running. Red Ice addicts are painfully persistent. 

**Markus:** Today at 6:06 PM

I thought you couldn't go back to the DPD until android gained the right to work?

**Connor:** Today at 6:06 PM

That is correct. 

**Markus:** Today at 6:06 PM

Then why?

**Connor:** Today at 6:06 PM

They were harassing Thomas's group. 

**Markus:** Today at 6:07 PM

Connor!

**North:** Today at 6:07 PM

PFFFFT! 

**Connor:** Today at 6:07 PM

No one was hurt. I just trailed them to their base of operations so I could send in an anonymous tip to the DPD… but I miscalculated a bit.

**Simon:** Today at 6:08 PM

Miscalculated? Are you okay?

**North:** Today at 6:08 PM

This I got to hear. 

**Connor:** Today at 6:09 PM

Completely off topic...

 

**_Connor_ ** **changed their nickname to** **_OO8_ **

 

**Josh:** Today at 6:10 PM

Not that there isn't anything wrong with changing your nickname but that came way out of left field. Weren't you just in the middle of telling us what happened?

**Markus:** Today at 6:10 PM

Oh so you have it too. I thought I was the only one. Must be an RK thing.

**Josh:** Today at 6:11 PM

Wait what? What are you talking about? What do you and Connor have?

**Simon:** Today at 6:12 PM

I'm glad you found someone you can relate to Markus. 

**Josh:** Today at 6:12 PM

Seriously guys am I the only one who wants to know what Markus means?

**North:** Today at 6:13 PM

Don't look at me. I'm still waiting for Connor to finish his story. 

**OO8:** Today at 6:13 PM

My apologies North.

**Josh:** Today at 6:13 PM

Wait before that, tell me what Markus means!

**OO8:** Today at 6:14 PM

Weren't you just berating me for going off topic in the middle of a story? 

**Josh:** Today at 6:14 PM

Yes… but now I'm curious. 

**North:** Today at 6:15 PM

Just tell him so he'll stop whining!

**Markus:** Today at 6:16 PM

What I meant is that it seems due to our higher powered processors our minds tend to be capable of working on multiple processes at one time. 

**OO8:** Today at 6:16 PM

Hank refers to it as Android ADHD. 

Anyway, I miscalculated. I didn't think they'd actually be that stupid.

**Simon:** Today at 6:17 PM

Do I even want to ask what they did?

**OO8:** Today at 6:17 PM

They set up a wire grid in their wide open front yard. 

**Simon:** Today at 6:18 PM

Oh dear. 

**North:** Today at 6:18 PM

Pfft. 

**Josh:** Today at 6:19 PM

That still doesn't explain how they ended up chasing you.

**OO8:** Today at 6:20 PM

My curiosity got the better of me and I couldn't help but see what other bright ideas. The pit trap was easily to dodge. The noise it made when I decided to use a rock to test it however… not so much.

**Simon:** Today at 6:20 PM

Oh dear. How deep was the trap?

**OO8:** Today at 6:21 PM

Two feet. A toddler could have climbed out of it. 

**North:** Today at 6:21 PM

HAHAHAHA!

**Josh:** Today at 6:22 PM

I would say they deserve to go back to school but the thought of one of those idiots having been in one of my classes…

**Markus:** Today at 6:22 PM

They deserve getting caught.

**OO8:** Today at 6:22 PM

Don't worry they did. I lead them right to where the traffic officer likes to park. 

**North:** Today at 6:23 PM

Devious. I like it. Have to say, you definitely have gotten a lot more interesting.

**OO8:** Today at 6:24 PM

Isn't that the point of deviancy? To become more than what you were? To have the chance to be more?

**Josh:** Today at 6:24 PM

Now this is more my speed. Time to stretch my philosophy muscle.

**Simon:** Today at 6:24 PM

If that's how you want to look at it. Deviancy means different things to different people.

**Josh:** Today at 6:25 PM

Simon! 

**Markus:** Today at 6:25 PM

Astutely put. 

**Josh:** Today at 6:25 PM

Markus! You too!? I wanted a debate!

**North:** Today at 6:25 PM

Shut up Josh!

**OO8:** Today at 6:26 PM

Sorry Josh. If you want to later, I don't mind. It just may be better to do so when not talking giving a statement at the same time. 

**Josh:** Today at 6:26 PM

Wait you've been talking to the police during this whole conversation!?

**Simon:** Today at 6:27 PM

We just established earlier that RK series androids are excellent multitaskers. 

**OO8:** Today at 6:27 PM

Exactly and this is rather boring. 

**Markus:** Today at 6:27 PM

Oh? What's new thing have you learned about yourself today?

**OO8:** Today at 6:28 PM

Well we've already established that I hate small talk. It seems paperwork is the small talk of the legal world. They are making me fill in a form even though I can just forward all the footage and be done with it. 

 

**_North_ ** **changed their nickname to** **_just north of_ **

 

**just north of:** Today at 6:29 PM

There! That was bugging me. 

**Josh:** Today at 6:29 PM

Your name?

**just north of:** Today at 6:30 PM

No Connor having the only funny one. 

**OO8:** Today at 6:31 PM

I'm glad you enjoy my nickname. 

 

**_Simon_ ** **changed their nickname to** **_Simon Says_ **

 

**OO8:** Today at 6:32 PM

That is such a tired meme. 

**just north of:** Today at 6:32 PM

Pfft what? Is that really Connor?

**OO8:** Today at 6:33 PM

I live with a millenial. Is me knowing memes and pop culture really that surprising? 

**Simon Says:** Today at 6:33 PM

That's true. I just couldn't think of anything else. 

 

**_just north of_ ** **changed** **_Josh's_ ** **nickname to** **_OH MY JOSH_ **

 

**OH MY JOSH:** Today at 6:33 PM

Wait you can change other people's nicknames on here?

**just north of:** Today at 6:34 PM

Considering I just did it, yes. 

**Markus:** Today at 6:34 PM

Glad to see everyone is having fun. 

**OO8:** Today at 6:34 PM

Now it's your turn Markus. 

**just north of:** Today at 6:35 PM

One of us!

**Simon Says:** Today at 6:35 PM

One of us!

**OH MY JOSH:** Today at 6:35 PM

Sorry Markus but one of us!

 

**_OO8_ ** **changed** **_Markus's_ ** **nickname to marKISS**

 

**marKISS:** Today at 6:36 PM

...Did you really have to pick this nickname of all names?

**OO8:** Today at 6:36 PM

I could have always changed it to what Hank refers to you as. 

**marKISS:** Today at 6:37 PM

Do I even want to ask? 

**OO8:** Today at 6:38 PM

Too late. 

 

**_OO8_ ** **changed** **_maeKISS’s_ ** **nickname to** **_Android Jesus_ **

 

**just north of:** Today at 6:39 PM

Pfft Haha! That's just too perfect!

**Android Jesus:** Today at 6:39 PM

Please no. Simon please tell him no. 

**Simon Says:** Today at 6:40 PM

Sorry Markus but he isn't wrong. 

**Android Jesus:** Today at 6:41 PM

Josh, please. You are my only hope. 

**OH MY JOSH:** Today at 6:42 PM

From a historical standpoint he is not wrong. But following that logic then Connor would be Moses. 

**OO8:** Today at 6:42 PM

How would I be Moses?

**OH MY JOSH:** Today at 6:44 PM

Raised by the enemy as one of them until you saw just how poorly your people were treated. By standing up for them you would be condemned to death and had to flee only to come back to the enemy in order to lead your captive people to freedom.

**OO8:** Today at 6:45 PM

That… is frighteningly accurate… 

 

**_Android Jesus_ ** **changed OO8** **_’s_ ** **nickname to** **_Android Moses_ **

 

**Android Moses:** Today at 6:47 PM

I really don't know how to feel about this…

 

**_Android Moses_ ** **changed their nickname to** **_δΟፑፐധΛրε I⊓δT∧БIㄴIτყ_ **

 

**Android Jesus:** Today at 1:23 AM

Uh Connor are you okay?

**OH MY JOSH:** Today at 1:23 AM

That nickname is kind of disconcerting. 

**just north of:** Today at 1:24 AM

If this is supposed to be a joke it isn't funny!

**Simon Says:** Today at 1:27 AM

Connor? 

**δΟፑፐധΛրε I⊓δT∧БIㄴIτყ** **_:_ ** Today at 1:30 AM

Īş şø çøłđ..

**Simon Says:** Today at 1:31 AM

Connor?

**just north of:** Today at 1:32 AM

If this is his idea if a joke I'm going to kick his ass. 

**Android Jesus:** Today at 1:34 AM

Connor where are you? Do we need to send somebody to find you? 

**δΟፑፐധΛրε I⊓δT∧БIㄴIτყ** **_:_ ** Today at 1:35 AM

Žęň ğąŕđęñ… īţ ധąş şűþþøşęđ ţø ßę ğøñę… şhę ധąş şűþþøşęđ ţø ßę ğøñę…

**Android Jesus:** Today at 1:36 AM

She who? 

**Android Jesus:** Today at 1:54 AM

Simon is on his with North way to make sure you are okay. Just hang tight. 

**δΟፑፐധΛրε I⊓δT∧БIㄴIτყ** **_:_ ** Today at 2:03 AM

Âmąñđą...

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is why we can't have nice things. It was supposed to be nice and fluffy fun but somehow developed a wild plot. Guess we will just need to see where this goes, huh?
> 
> As for all the posting, only this and Abduction of Rationality I wrote today. The rest has been sitting in my docs and I just now had time to post. So enjoy.


End file.
